The essence of truth can be found in the palpable harmony present in spiritual clarity, as well as in the flowering of romantic love. This suggests a possible spiritual basis for romantic love, though it is typically not recognized as such. For romantic love to succeed, the self-centeredness of both partners must first be overcome, and this is only possible through spiritual means. Romantic love fails when this self-centeredness is not overcome in one partner, or in neither partner, or is overcome initially but later returns. The essence of truth is present in anything which harmonizes with the fundamental purpose of the universe, and so it is an intuitive leap to recognize that success in romantic love is consistent with the fundamental purpose of the universe.
Love without marriage is more sacred than marriage without love, and it is self-evident that God is more involved in the establishment of romantic love than in the establishment of a marriage organized through self-will. Marriage is the logical outcome of romantic love, when it becomes the public promise of a committed relationship, and this is stabilizing to all of society. Marriage without love is fundamentally destabilizing, for when love arrives it may not be between the married couple, and in this way families disintegrate when love is selected over the emotional death of a dry marriage. It is deeply intuitive in newcomers to romantic love that selfishness is toxic to the establishment and maintenance of this love, and so by the time marriage is considered the relationship has already endured its share of crises involving self, and is therefore less likely to experience disintegration following marriage than that relationship where love has never been present.
But how is all of this related to the fundamental purpose of the universe? Here is the depth of the mystery, made more negotiable once we recognize that the universe itself can be interpreted as a living organism, replete with something analogous to our own DNA which engineers the evolution of galaxies and the life contained within them. Here, what we recognize as the Holy Spirit is strongly analogous to the chemical messaging active within our own cells, instructing components of the cell as to what kinds of work might need to be performed. Thusly, in a cosmic sense the Holy Spirit does likewise, and the evolution of the universe is in this manner slowly brought to its fruition. We are left to assume that this cosmic DNA is itself not seriously flawed, yet is rather in harmony with itself, and that we are all headed collectively with the rest of the universe toward something both productive and wonderful.
One of the basic functions of romance is to determine harmony between individuals…cultural harmony, emotional harmony, and physical harmony. This is instinctive, and the instinctive function of romantic love is to bind a couple closely enough together that they will remain together throughout the process of raising children, and clearly there is a survival advantage (at the instinctive level) for children being raised in this context. They are more likely to be stable emotionally than children being raised by parents who do not share in romantic love, and they are more likely to be culturally supportive in adulthood for having been allowed to develop where love is cherished. Of course, romantic love presupposes a sexual attraction between partners, and herein resides the physical harmony implicit in this love. It is an overall harmony of the hearts, and we can expect that the genetic makeup of children resulting from this harmony of the hearts to be more harmonious in itself, than that of children resulting from a marriage of mere economic convenience, where the shared physical harmony of a couple is not necessarily a top priority. The essence of truth will likely not randomly throw genomes together, yet will insist upon some filtering process which will first determine a fundamental compatibility, something like romantic love.
The sneaky part of romantic love is that it will not succeed where selfishness is not overcome, and this requires the surrendering of the heart. Here is where the universe smiles, for it necessarily places us on a spiritual basis where we are more useful to the cravings of the universe. To scoff at love means we intend not to relinquish control of our lives, albeit to the higher authority of the Spirit. This is the enshrining of self, from which is produced the unhealthiest of offspring. It is the deifying of our own genome, which places us in perpetual competition with other genomes, even the genomes of our own children. This is not the basis for healthy families, yet is the very cesspool of discontent, from whose escape ironically requires the surrendering of one’s heart. Why not surrender to begin with, and spare our children the necessity of discovering this on their own?
It is a scary thing not to be in control of our future, yet surrendering to the Spirit means abiding in life that is worth living. We are contributing beyond ourselves, which ironically enriches us in unforeseeable ways, where we bask inexplicably in the essence of truth, and abide as participant in the very purpose of the universe. We are not scum, yet in our own strength we produce a lot of it, though with a surrendered heart our strength becomes transcendent, and we might transform a lot of scum into something much more substantive and useful. We cannot do this on our own, for we lack the insight which the Spirit provides, and if we rely merely on our instincts then we will be led astray. Surrendering the heart means optimizing our instincts, where romantic love is allowed to succeed, and the future becomes irresistible in the allure of the promise of personal fulfillment.
Why is it so difficult, this harmonizing with the purpose of the universe? Remember, we are literally mere generations from the wilderness, and instinct is very powerful. It can be argued that instinct itself evolved with some real fidelity to truth, and that nature selects those most in harmony with that truth. The discovery of spiritual mechanisms, however, has spawned the development of a whole new suite of disciplines, allowing us to more accurately navigate our way forward through the ferality of our own uncultivated tendencies, finally to arrive at a spiritual clarity which is beyond intuition, while yet incorporating this intuition through the fruitful surrender of the heart.
When we are searching for direction, the Holy Spirit will often feast on information, and the more relevant information we provide will determine the depth of clarity in the Spirit’s response. It will not do all the work for us, like some magic genie might, though sometimes there will be an inexplicable inkling on the heart which we find in retrospect must have come directly from the Spirit. Here is the thrill in living this way, for it is perpetually interesting and dynamic, and if we are sincere then we are in for the journey of a lifetime. We should expect nothing less from the ambassador of the universe, the Spirit which tempts us onward toward success in life, success which is in harmony with the essence of truth, with the fundamental purpose of the universe.
The universe cherishes romantic love, for through this love a nutriment is provided, which feeds the universe toward its own fulfillment, within which we are destined to participate as full citizens. It is an apparent sacrifice, this surrendering of the heart, this surrendering of control to the auspices of the Spirit. But the benefit to our soul contains the great payoff for our apparent sacrifice, for we will be ready to be citizens when that time comes, not only to be in harmony with the essence of truth, but to be part of that essence as well.
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